


Pleasurable Rhythmic Muscle Spasms

by INMH



Series: Merry Month of Masturbation Fills (2020) [16]
Category: Far Cry: New Dawn
Genre: Embarrassment, Gen, Humor, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Sexual Content, Strong Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:08:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23786851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INMH/pseuds/INMH
Summary: Sharky has a way of Not Helping, when he’s not doing anything wrong.
Relationships: Carmina Rye & Bean, Carmina Rye & Sharky Boshaw
Series: Merry Month of Masturbation Fills (2020) [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690234
Kudos: 11





	Pleasurable Rhythmic Muscle Spasms

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off the possible interaction you can see between Bean and Sharky in New Dawn.

“Oh my God _BEAN!_ ”  
  
Carmina recoils, hands over her eyes. She just might have to blind herself later, might have to dunk her head in a barrel of ethanol and let Jesus take the _fucking_ wheel like in that old song that sometimes came up on the stereo.  
  
She can’t see Bean (she doesn’t _want_ to see Bean), but from the sound of it he’s as mortified as she is. There’s the sound of rustling sheets and frantic movements on the cot. “C-Carmina! What are you d-d-doing here?”  
  
“Losing my will to live, apparently!” Carmina barks, turning and banging her head against the wall a few times. On the shortlist of things she had _never_ wanted to see, Bean without his pants (or _underwear_ ) on had definitely been in the top five.  
  
“Oh _come on!_ ”  
  
“I think I’m gonna puke!”  
  
“Why are you so _mean?!_ ” Bean wails, throwing a pillow at her. “I was just lying here, minding my own business in my own bunk-!”  
  
“ _You should have locked the door!_ ” Carmina shrieks.  
  
“It’s my room!”  
  
“That you were _jerking off in!_ ”  
  
Ethanol won’t be enough.  
  
Carmina might actually just have to set herself on fire.  
  
“Whoa! What’s the dealio, little people?”  
  
Carmina finally opens her eyes, only to see Sharky Boshaw standing in the open doorway that she _infinitely_ regrets walking through. General etiquette in such close quarters like Prosperity says that one should, at the absolute _bare minimum_ , at least close a door if attempting to engage in anything that one does not want the rest of the compound to see or hear. Little Blade is strapped to a harness on Sharky’s chest, gurgling and waving his arms and legs excitedly.  
  
“Carmina doesn’t know how to knock, that’s what’s the dealio!” Bean whines before she can open her mouth. Carmina whirls around to face him, and she’s relieved to see that he has a separate pillow pulled over his lap.  
  
“And Bean doesn’t know how to shut a door when he’s jerking off, apparently!” She returns savagely, picking up the pillow he’d hurled her way and whipping it back at his head.  
  
“Ohh,” Sharky says, nodding sagely. “I see. You decided to explore the bounds of your body after our talk, huh little dude?”  
  
Both Carmina and Bean go beet-red.  
  
“Oh my God,” Carmina intones, voice low.  
  
Bean sinks into the cot as best he can, scrunching in on himself and covering his face with both hands.  
  
“It’s perfectly a perfectly natural process,” Sharky says easily, scratching Blade’s head idly.  
  
“Nope,” Carmina insists, shaking her head. “Nope, nope, nope.”  
  
“You really should have a talk with your mom and pops kiddo, they can explain the birds and the bees just fine to-”  
  
“I _know_ what sex is, Sharky, I’m just freaking out that I saw _Bean_ doing it in the middle of the day _without locking his damn door_!”  
  
“ _It’s my room!_ ”  
  
“ _SO LOCK IT!_ ”  
  
“Whoa, whoa, kids! Hey!” Sharky chuckles as Blade giggles maniacally. “Come on, bring it down a couple dozen notches before you bring every Highwayman left in the county down on our heads. Bean, my dude, really, you gotta lock your door, maybe put a sock on the handle to show that you are _en flagrante delicto_. I tell you, I have walked in on Hurk _so many_ times because he went and forgot to put up the sock. And Carmina, girly, maybe next time, like, knock first?”  
  
“I am _never_ coming in here again.”  
  
“Cool, cool, your daddy would probably prefer it that way.”  
  
Carmina’s very soul shrivels at the implication.  
_  
Oh God no._  
  
Sharky turns back to Bean, who has all but buried himself beneath his pillows and blanket. “Seriously my man, invest in the sock theory. It’s the universal sign that you’re doing something super private with your naughty parts that you don’t want anyone seeing.”  
  
Bean lets out a strangled scream.  
  
Carmina lunges for the door.  
  
“Hey, wait, did you have something you had to tell Bean?” Sharky calls.  
  
“ _Never mind!_ ”  
  
Sharky shrugs as Carmina leaves, scrubbing her face like she’s trying to erase the memory of what she’s seen; then he looks to Bean, who is still buried beneath the sheets. “What about you, buddy? You need any more explanations about anatomical functions like org-”  
  
“No!” Bean squeaks. “No, no, no, I’m- no.” His face peeps out from behind a pillow. “ _Please_ don’t tell Nick about this,” he whispers so quietly that Sharky just barely hears him.  
  
“It’s cool, I don’t go around telling girls’ dads about the guys whose dicks they’ve seen, not unless it’s, like, criminal or something. Remember: Sock on the door handle, dude!” Sharky goes to leave, and then pokes his head back into the room. “Also, yeah, maybe lock it too, just in case.”  
  
The pillows move enough to indicate that Bean is nodding.  
  
“Alright, rock on.”  
  
Sharky steps out of the room, shutting the door behind him, and shakes his head. “Boy, Blade, I’ll tell ya what, teenagers are _just_ as freakishly dramatic now as they were pre-Collapse. Back then they were snapping nudes and sending them around to one another; now I got one asking me what an orgasm is, and another losing her mind ‘cuz she accidentally saw a little peen.” He chuckles. “Damn, how times change.”  
  
Blade coos.  
  
“Damn right little dude, I _am_ getting too old for this shit. Let’s go get some grub, huh? Then maybe we can go and make some dynamite, huh?”  
  
Blade gurgles happily.  
  
“That’s my man! You’re gonna be a cool teenager, I’ll tell you what.”  
  
-End


End file.
